42: I’m no longer absorbing emotions that are not mine
On Twitter, deliberately offensive jokes and incendiary content
I have decided: I am no longer absorbing emotions that are not mine. I am no longer getting angry about things that do not concern me. What does this mean exactly? It means that when I scroll on Twitter and see someone ranting about a cat that is not mine, I will not get worked up. When I see someone share a less-than-thoughtful opinion, I will not let it infuriate me.
How did I come to this conclusion? Honestly, I wasn’t always like this. If you look at my Twitter page, you’ll see I’ve been the one sharing ideas, offering perspectives, and engaging. I’ve always seen myself as one of the more reasonable voices on the platform.
But recently, I have found myself getting angry, getting irate, getting frustrated by the ideas and thoughts that I see being shared and, most importantly, promoted on Twitter. It makes me wonder if my desire to share an alternative point of view is that important. Is it really so important to share an alternative view instantly to every wrong opinion that I hurt myself and get emotionally drained in the process? Is it really necessary for me to put myself through the madness that I encounter every day being online? Social media, especially Twitter, is like a battlefield of ideas, and being on the frontlines has started to take a toll. It seems like a noble cause to want to let people know that what this person is saying is wrong and this is what is right. Which is basically what I do on social media. But recently, I’ve found myself getting emotionally attached to these topics. So, I don't just go to social media and share a different point of view. Really, that's not what I do. This is what the process often looks like:
Step 1: I log on to Twitter feeling fine.
Step 2: I see a post that annoys me.
Step 3: I scroll through replies, becoming even more irritated.
Step 4: I decide to share my perspective.
Step 5: I leave Twitter feeling frustrated.
Step 6: A few minutes later, I am drawn back to the app by the original poster who has possibly quoted my tweet with a rude remark. And then in a bid to fix that, the cycle starts again. I am stuck in a loop, in an ultimate survival of the loudest, rudest and most shameless.
As simple as this process sounds, it doesn’t just start and end on Twitter. For me to share my opinion on this sensitive subject matter on Twitter, I have to sometimes think about it. I have to do one or two Google searches just to be sure that my perspective is actually right and I'm not pushing the wrong narrative as well. So, oftentimes, I find myself spending some minutes thinking about this topic that I did not care about a while ago. And also realising that not only am I thinking about it so much, but I’m also actually getting emotional about it.
What begins as a simple tweet turns into a full emotional investment, often derailing my day. And it doesn’t end with me
This cycle doesn’t just affect me; it ripples outwards.
I now copy the link of this annoying tweet and share it with my friends—who might probably be having a very amazing day, perhaps the best of days. But now they've seen the original tweet and my tweets, and they're also interested in this topic which does not concern them. Not only have I succeeded in possibly ruining their day as well with this terrible piece of information and this less-than-thoughtful intentionally incendiary idea that I have found on Twitter that I could have potentially ignored, but I’ve also decided to not ignore it and distribute it to others, who will possibly distribute it to others as well.
And I think this is what social media can sometimes do to you. Whether you want to or not, you find yourself being part of the problem even though you are sometimes just trying to offer a solution.
It's easy to say, Oh, if you don't say anything, people are going to keep sharing less-than-thoughtful ideas. And I agree, that's actually what is eventually going to end up happening. But I've had to think, quite frankly, a lot about where I want to place my emotions. Do I want to, in the spirit of being the voice of sanity on social media, find myself getting angry, losing the little joy and happiness that I've curated for myself just to respond to somebody's foolish posts which they probably posted intentionally to irate people like me to get cheap views?
No, I don't think that is what I want. And so I've made the following resolutions.
When I see a piece that irritates me on social media, I'm not going to think that I have the responsibility to share my thoughts. I'm going to scroll past because I can actually scroll past something if I don't agree with it. I don't have to make my disagreements known to the person. I can simply look at what they've put out there, see that it is a less-than-thoughtful piece, and choose to ignore it. Disagreement doesn’t require a response.
I will stop sharing content that adds unnecessary anger to my life or others. When I see a thoughtless content on Twitter, there is no need to share it to my friends group and say, “See what this guy said?” By sharing it, I'm only getting us all riled up so we can have a conversation about something that we were never even in doubt about. Misery loves company, I will not feed it.
I’ll continue offering alternative perspectives—but only when I feel emotionally light enough to do so without sacrificing my peace. I'm then going to share my perspective with my friends so they can share that and propagate a better perspective instead of just promoting the original trigger post
Summarily, I know that I don't contribute to the noise on social media. I don't contribute to the anger on Twitter, but I don't just want to stop there. I want to make sure that I don't distribute the noise to other people. I don't want to get other people irate about things that don't concern them. I'm going to stop absorbing emotions that are not mine. If someone is angry that their black cat has eaten away their white sock and someone has replied that they are stupid for having a black cat when orange cats exist and someone else has told them having cats as pet is a net negative for the environment, I'm going to leave them all alone while I feed my purple goat and wear my orange sock. I'm not going to contribute to the noise nor will I distribute the noise. I'm going to tilt towards joy and happiness and focus on the things that genuinely affect me personally as opposed to falling for provocative posts.
Social media should connect us, not drain us. By stepping back and focusing on what truly matters, I’m choosing joy over absorbing emotions are not mine.
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First thing I do on Twitter is go straight to comments on post, and subconsciously I start searching for the opposite remarks, the ones that are wrong (because there's always that one person) or the ones that twist the topics. And then I see it and then I get mad because 'How can someone think like this'.
But this year I have told myself I won't do that. Be sucked into conversations and responses that don't affect me directly or indirectly, or contribute to my causes.
Social media can be a black hole, just sucking and pulling everything joyful out of you to leave you miserable. I think that's why a number of people always act miserable in those online spaces because they've consumed too much.
This is an audacious decision, one I wish I could take; I have been doing this with a couple themes I used to be invested in, maybe I need to expand the scope more.
As a periodical recipient of your irate thoughts , this feels delightful to read.
Rooting for you as you spread peace and serenity.